Thursday, May 9, 2013

Sometimes I Really Don't Like Me

I don't talk about personal things on my blog much.  Well, not personal stuff that doesn't revolve around various and sundry geeky pursuits.  Work, family, politics, religion, that sort of thing.  It's just not what this blog is suppose to be about.

However, here is the intersection between geeky pursuits and personal matters.  Sometimes, when I get really wound up about something personal, something that really upsets me and makes me want to retreat from the real world, I do so.  And I get so entrenched in geekiness that I become insufferable.

I got into such an animated discussion of Iron Man 3 tonight that I pretty much loudly spoiled the movie for people nearby that hadn't seen it.  I jumped on topics and rode them into the ground like a pedantic boor.  I got defensive about being a geek and having geeky pursuits, when I know damn well that is what I am.

I was loud and obnoxious and not particularly sensitive to the people around me.  I was "that guy" because I was agitated about real world things, and wanted desperately not to think about the real world, so suddenly everything geeky seemed so much more important that what it should have been.

Anybody that knows me, that happens to read this blog . . . I'm sorry you have to deal with me, and I'm sorry I'm not better at regulating my personality.  I'm sorry that I get too lound, and too defensive, and just so over the top.  I'm not happy with myself when this happens, and I wish I could just . . . fix me sometimes.

I love my hobbies, and I have met wonderful friends through those hobbies.  I have met great, quality people that I enjoy spending time with, and I don't want them to ever regret spending time with me.

I'm going to go retreat in a hole for a while until the real world blows over.  Hopefully when I poke my head out again I can just be a little annoying and geeky, and not boorishly, loudly self absorbed.

3 comments:

  1. Yeah Jared, you suck. Welcome to being human. We love you anyway.

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  2. Been there, done that. My real vice is I am much too competitive to play in miniature leagues, etc. After a while I become the nasty guy...the guy who always complains when things don't go his way, who makes snarky comments during the game, and who finds ways to cheat so he can win. I hate that guy. Luckily I have become better at being able to tell when he is about to come out and I back off. Then I step back from the table for a while.

    Tom

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